Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
