Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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