Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
