Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
