Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
