Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
