i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
