Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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