Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
