Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
