At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I wish you could order shots online.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
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