I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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