Umm I'm too high to move.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
