Got a toothbrush?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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