Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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