made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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