Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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