Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
