"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
