her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
