On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
