shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I have aggressive nipples.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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