Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
