I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
