24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Actions speak louder than pants.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
