So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
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My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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