it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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