How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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