dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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