Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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