just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
