May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
