She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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