hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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