we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
