Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
