When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
