They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize