Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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