Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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