I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
