There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
