He is such a slut. More and more my type.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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