Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
im on a boat
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