mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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