On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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