the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
