I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
