threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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