OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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