Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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