You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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