this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
