bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
