dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
