i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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