dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
