he shaved USA in his pubs
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
