i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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