come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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