I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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