Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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